I spent the weekend with the husband and kids at my parents farm, and I was struck over and over by the incredible changes in my life because we decided to get sober. It started with heading down to the farm and setting up the RV. Normally, while we are hooking up the RV, making sure everything is ready, we’re running around with a beer in one hand, or stopping to grab another beer. By the time we get there, we are ready to get another beer in hand, and are sniping at each other and the kids, losing patience over just how long this whole not drinking thing is taking. But Friday, we were ready and on our way in about half the time… turns out having two hands to use is a real benefit. Then we got down there, and we weren’t focused on getting set up and getting to the business of drinking. We were laughing, working together, taking our time and getting it right. I didn’t actually spend too much time thinking about it at the time though. The next morning was a real eye opener. Before bed on Friday I mentioned to my dad that there would be a full lunar eclipse very early the next morning. So Saturday morning, at 4:33 a.m., my dad knocked on the door and hollered “Hey, I thought we were watching an eclipse!”. At 4:40 a.m. I was sitting on my parents porch, watching the moon disappear in the shadow the earth was casting, and reveling in exactly how much life has changed with sobriety. Had we been drinking the night before, I may have still found myself in that chair, but I would be hungover, wishing I could just crawl back in bed, counting the minutes until it was over. Most likely the husband would have been sleeping, or stomping around the RV, talking about how rude my dad was for knocking on the door so early in the morning, on a Saturday; not standing behind me, with a hand on my shoulder, talking about blood moons, lunar eclipses and the belief that they could hearken the end times. The kids would have been silent in their beds, trying to avoid confrontation; not snuggled under blankets with their grandparents, making memories that they will keep forever. All weekend we had moments like this, some big, some small. The husband spent half a day with my dad, helping a friend split honey bee hives. I spent time with my sister and mom, shopping and planning for Easter dinner; then with my daughter, perusing antique stores, ogling beautiful filigree rings and stroking the spines of old books. Before sobriety, that would have been time spent sitting at the RV, because one of the rules of camping is it’s never too early for a beer. My daughter and I did a thorough cleaning and organizing of the interior of the RV while the husband washed the outside, again something that would’ve been discarded if there were drinking to be done. We sat on a wooden bench in a field, watching baby lambs bounce around their moms. We laughed and shared stories and dreamed out loud. No one drew away as we got more drunk, and they got less comfortable. The kids didn’t go hide in the back of the RV and play video games. My mom didn’t go hide in her house as my dad joined in on the “fun”. The husband and I talked about this new, strange world. I told him this was probably the first time that I’d been camping as a teen or an adult where I didn’t drink. The husband said he’s been doing that a lot, making a mental list of all of his firsts. Sobriety can be a scary thing, it can be overwhelming. But, it can also be so exciting. It can be like a big birthday party where you just get to unwrap gift after gift, new experience after new experience.
doing it dry 